she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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