As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
