Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize