My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
