apparently the secret to your success is patron
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
