We got so high we made milksteak
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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