I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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