he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I take back everything I said about communal showers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
