you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
what is it with giant penises always finding me
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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