So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
