After last night, I could never be a politician.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
