Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
