What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Randomize
