I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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