he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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