Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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