So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
