don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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