Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize