Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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