I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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