I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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