Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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