turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
