After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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