remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
