She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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