The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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