Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
