That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
