Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
