my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's shark week go big or go home
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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