I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize