as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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