I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
