I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
