I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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