the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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