you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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