Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
