I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
