just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize