he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
