i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
