I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
