You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
