It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize