all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
