Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
