ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
