i'm lost and i look like a hooker
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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