last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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