Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
