How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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