yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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