I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
