Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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