He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
