we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize