i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
