those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
