But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
