Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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