The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
