I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize