She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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