ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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