Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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