I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
