Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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