there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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