I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He has the fingertips of a God
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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