I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
