I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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