I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
