Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
