oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
