After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
