Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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